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Friday, October 30, 2009

Last minute...

48 hours, Folks!

I am stronger than I think I am....

I have worked hard for this...

I am victorious....

I exist in each moment...not where I was, or where I should be...but I embrace the joy that is NOW

I do not have to run, I am FREE TO RUN....

I throw off everything that hinders me and run the race before me...

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Mental prep

3 days...72 hours...4763 minutes...until Bass Pro...I know, how many times can I write a freak-out countdown blog entry? Well..technically I haven't done the freak out yet..but last night I was reading one of my marathon books and it was talking about letting the runs the week of the marathon be a comfortable effort, so that you don't use up too much of your glycogen stores and I was like..."Oh no!" Try as I have, my runs this week have been faster than usual, although it hasn't felt like it...Even my "crappy run" yesterday was a 9:40 average pace...I say it was a crappy run, for the most part it felt okay, but I was having shoe issues and it was so frustrating! I could feel myself start the "talk" as my panic level rose.."What if this happens race day?" and on and on and on...

And so I had to make myself STOP that...I reminded myself that sometimes I have shoe, hip, back (whatever) issues one day and then can feel totally awesome the next! So that was not going to ultimately doom me to a horrible race day. It's true that I have no control over the weather...but I can do as much as possible to prepare for a good race day...eat well, try to get some rest, dress appropriately, have all my gear, etc..ad infinum.. As I said in my earlier post, most of my preparation this week has been internal..my mindset. I have realized that a lot of times, my mindset is what defeats me, even before I've even tried something! I create these unrealistic expectations or seek to control things that cannot be controlled and set myself up for bitter disappointment. It's true..I do want to beat my previous time..I have worked hard! Those Tuesday night running clinics weren't for nothing! I do want to improve...to push myself....

Obviously, we all don't know what tomorrow will bring. We like to plan and scheme and control, but in the end, we adapt....well or not, cheerfully and thankfully or not...And I haven't been very adaptable, I'll be honest. I HOPE that I have many more years of healthy running ahead of me. Realistically, I probably do have plenty of time to keep working toward becoming a better, faster runner...but I wondered to myself yesterday...what's the rush? Is there some invisible timetable out there that I have to complete? Maybe I'm just giving myself an "out", an excuse to fail... A lot of the time, I push and push, but all the while in my head I'm thinking.."When will I be good enough?"..."am I good enough now?"I have berated myself and my accomplishments with the misguided belief that it will encourage me to reach a higher standard. Instead of celebrating my successes with a positive voice, I constantly undermine my progress by reminding myself how far I have to go. In the end, the constant criticism works to defeat me. Sad, but true. This week I have had to look long and hard at this in my life..Whose voice is that? Is it external? Sometimes...But mostly..it's me...

As I think back to some of my experiences, not necessarily running related, the times that I have thrived have been the times when I just let myself relax and enjoy the process. I'm not talking about being lazy, but giving myself permission to take everything in...to not be so focused on some narrow goal that I miss out on the journey. When I celebrate little steps and successes, I usually perform better as a byproduct of enjoying something with childlike delight! The other day I heard a quote that said something like..."The marathon is just the victory lap at the end of all the training"...Now that's one SERIOUSLY LONG victory lap, but the day in and day out training and work are just as gratifying. I am enjoying the fact that it takes risk for me to put myself out there...to try..and to hope...I'm sure that, being a person with perfectionist tendencies, this will be a process that extends much farther than a race... but God has really used running in my life to show me spiritual parallels and I'm ready to start listening...

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Pre-race jitters and Soaring Wings blurb..

Well, it's official...we are going to have to build an ark...it's raining AGAIN! I admit I like a rainy day, now and then, but it has been so wet lately! How would a marathon on an ark work? 26.2 miles of circles....ugh.....however.... the scenery would be most interesting! Maybe if a lion or bear took a swipe at me whenever I ran by, my time would improve! Sigh...

Today is the last day of running clinic. The chance of rain is supposed to decrease to 50% after 5pm, so MAYBE we will get to run! I hope so! I have been looking forward to seeing Coach Dennis and everyone for the last time this season..unless we encounter each other in the racing circuit. Cheryl has been making herself sick with "Marathon Madness" and I have tried not to think about the race on Sunday too much. My runs are still pretty decent and I'm trying to eat better (except for the dang pesky candy corn in my cupboard!) in preparation. To be honest, I think I need more mental preparation than anything! It's hard not to let the anxiety take over sometimes. I try to tell myself that it doesn't serve me anyway, and that relaxes me some. I have downloaded some new music for my ipod and am excited about the new tunes! I will probably leave my ipod off for the first 8-10 miles, maybe for the first half...just to stay aware of my surroundings and the bigger crowds and then put it on when I am needing a boost. The music never fails to push me a little, even when I am feeling tired or worn out! I have tried to stay away from saying my goals out loud..for fear that I won't obtain them, but I definitely hope to do a sub 5 hour race. Anything even lower would be straight AWESOME, but I am trying to focus on the experience of the race and not let a time goal be the measure of whether I "succeed" or "fail". I hope to avoid my usual pitfall of starting out too fast and conserve my energy at the beginning. I want to set the workout on my Garmin for an 11:00 min/mile pace, but it may be hard to pay much attention to that, considering the volume on my Garmin is not working and I cannot hear the alarms! I keep reminding myself that even though it's hard to see all those people passing me at the beginning, I'm just saving my energy for later when I need it most. I would love to have a negative split!

In other news, Cheryl and I volunteered this past weekend at the Soaring Wings Half Marathon. I was really wishing that I could have been running it, but it was still great to see so many of our friends and fellow running peeps coming across the finish line! We got there a little after 6am and of course, it was still dark. It was COLD too, and I was so glad I layered. I had 2 long sleeve tech shirts, the volunteer t-shirt, and a fleece jacket on...not to mention a gaitre, and gloves! The food prep was a bit chaotic, and most of the volunteers ended up asking Cheryl and I what to do! Most of them had already been cutting up fruit, so we started emptying candy, etc. into bigger boxes and arranging the stuff on the tables. There were a lot more volunteers, a lacrosse and baseball team from Hendrix, so the Gatorade and water were pretty much taken care of. We were able to get some terrible coffee at one point, and head over to the start line to watch beginning of the race. It was neat to see everyone take off! After that, we filled our time with rolling MILLIONS of hot dogs and even got to eat one of the yummy hamburgers being grilled before our eyes...One after another of our peeps crossed the finish line, many of the first being guys from our running clinic. Kim had a pretty good race, but was a bit sore. After a short drama with Cheryl's friend almost passing out, and getting to scope out a very cute fireman/EMT, we left and headed home. My legs were a bit tired from standing all morning, but I went to run when I got home, because I was undecided as to whether I would get to run the next day, due to work. Well, I didn't work...but that's another story...for another time. My run went fairly well, considering, and I headed out to the parent's house to meet my mom and sister to go to the Commissary for some grocery shopping..and MORE hours of being on my feet!

4 more days til the race! Despite the rain that is flooding the earth, I believe it is supposed to be a sunny race day, with early morning temps in the 40's. PERFECT, if you ask me. If you ask Cheryl or Kim, they will tell you otherwise! hehe...It happens to be Daylight Savings weekend, so it will be lighter outside, when we start at 7am. Hopefully, the sun will warm us up. I am personally hoping that my "aunt martha" will not be joining me for the race..I do not want to spend precious minutes in various port-o-potties throughout the morning!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Clinic ends...and a new challenge on the horizon...

Just a short post today, since I have a little bit of time before going to work..


Last night was the second to last running clinic of 2009....next week will be a bit of a light workout for us, due to marathon tapering. Dennis will be continuing to trail individuals throughout the winter, but probably won't start the clinic again until around February. Anyhoo, the workout last night was our toughest yet! Luckily, the weather was perfect...sunny, breezy, and probably in the 60's. Cheryl and I had to do our workout early, due to having to be in Conway by 7pm for the Soaring Wings Volunteer Meeting. I showed up around 5..the workout looked like it would be long and I always take at least 15 minutes to warm up. Here's the workout I did: 15 Minute warm up, 2 strides
1x5 @ LT Pace, 3' rest
1x800-1st 400 @LT pace, 2nd 400 @ Interval pace, 2' rest
3x400 @ Interval pace, 2' rest
4x200 @ Interval pace, 200 jog/rests
10 minute cool down, stretching

It was the longest and toughest workout so far and my heart rate stayed high and breathing somewhat labored. It felt great to really push myself though! I was a tad sore in the left knee, but stretching took care of that! Cheryl was disappointed because she had to cut her workout short, due to her late arrival from work. Next week will be pretty easy and we probably could do without going to clinic, considering the workout, but I want to be there for the last workout of the season. I must say that I have been ready to have a break from the commitment for a while, but now that it is ending, I'm kind of sad :( I hope to keep doing speedwork on my own once a week throughout the winter.

I'm really hoping that I do recover from my second marathon faster than my first. I want to be smarter about it, mostly in my diet and rest. Last time I got sick after the marathon, and I'm hoping to bounce back a little better. I didn't want to jump right back into training for another race, but I found my little heart going "pitter-pat" when I got an email from Hobbit about the Crackhead and Half-cracked Challenge coming up in March. I don't know if I can resist! And I am still undecided as to what to do. The Crackhead involves doing a Half marathon on Saturday and then doing the Little Rock Marathon on Sunday. The Half-cracked involves doing a 10k on Saturday and the Little Rock Half Marathon on Sunday. You get a medal for each race PLUS a medal for doing both...THAT'S 3 MEDALS! I'm not sure if my body can take the Crackhead or not. The training involves 2 long runs back-to-back each week. Cheryl and Kim have already decided to do it (of course)....I have a little bit of time to decide.

In the meantime, I am hoping to do the Great Gobbler 5k, 2 weeks after the marathon. Not hoping for a PR, because I don't really know how I will feel, but the race sounds fun. For now...only 9 more days til Bass Pro! EEK!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Finally...the "runners high"!

Okay..so officially I am supposed to be tapering but...

Met the girls this morning for our usual Monday 5+ mile loop. I was really itching to go run yesterday, but it was so cold, I only got as far as the front porch all day! It was cold this morning, and even though the temp said 41 degrees, it didn't feel quite as cold as I expected.

I must say that the whole run felt wonderful! I couldn't resist doing an extra two miles on my own after we got back! I don't know what it is, but with the exception of last Friday and part of Saturday's run, I have had a wonderful few weeks of running! I have tried to think of things I might be doing differently, so that I can make sure this awesomeness continues, but there isn't really one thing that sticks out to me. It's like all this energy was just infused into my body and I have felt like I could run forever! And faster too! On Friday, I was sure the honeymoon was over...my feet, hips, knees, butt all hurt and I felt like I had never run before..but today, the mojo was back!

Now...in the face of common sense, you might be wondering, "Aren't you supposed to be tapering?" Yes...but I couldn't resist today. For the next two weeks, aside from speed work tomorrow, I will have to "reign it in", so to speak...but it's interesting that all this time that I have been running, I can never say that I've had that "runners high" that everyone talks about. I've enjoyed running and I usually, with the exception of the soreness after long runs and speed work, feel great afterwards. But I finally know it feels like...GOOD! And I'll take it as long as I can!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

EEEEKK!

That seems to be my sentiment lately about a lot of things, but since this is my "running" blog..my latest "eek!" is the impending Bass Pro Marathon. It is almost upon me, in 2 weeks to be exact, and I am already feeling the nerves!

Yesterday was our 12 miler with the LRM Group, meeting at the Harvest Foods on Cantrell. Cheryl picked me up, per usual, and promptly stated how "frigid" it was outside. Now, you have to know up front that Cheryl hates, no, HATES winter...and since it seems like we have completely skipped over having a fall...she tends to be a bit testy about cold weather. I went outside and thought "hmm..doesn't seem colder than yesterday"...and I was quickly informed that I should "just wait"...I decided to grab my vest, just in case...

We headed over to the meeting place with no issues (aka the roads were not blocked off yet for the Race for the Cure, going on that morning) and met Kimbo. Tom and Hobbit were out of town this weekend, setting up a booth for the Little Rock Marathon at the Kansas City Expo, so some other people were managing the runners this week. We decided to go ahead and get started. It was still dark, of course, but that usually makes running down to Murray Park much more bearable. At this point, I was VERY glad that I had worn my vest and was getting comfortable warm about 1 mile into the run. The route is very flat, and I was pleasantly having a much better run than I did on Friday. I'm sure the lack of hills was most of it, but my butt/sciatic was not bothering me like it did then.

Somehow the miles flew by...and we were keeping a pretty fast pace, that became a little challenging for me about halfway through the run. We didn't take as many walk breaks, so my legs felt like lead, but when Cheryl stopped to use the bathroom, I got a short break and got my second wind to finish out the last 2-3 miles at a decent pace. In light of the marathon coming up, we knew we were going too fast for the goal pace of around an 11:00 min/mi but I quickly reminded myself NOT to do that on race day. It will probably be a good thing that I'm not running with the girls, so I am not tempted to do that, because I can tell that it definitely costs me later in the run. I would love to have a negative split, because I saved my energy and made the most of my short walk breaks. This is pretty impossible with Kimbo and Cheryl, as Kim pretty much stays a steady pace and keeps going and Cheryl always has some invisible speed watch in her head that makes her take off like a bat out of hell. However, you never know what race day will bring and I hope that I am rested and have a good running day.

We are pretty much tapering now and that usually freaks me out..especially when the runs closer to the race seem less and less easy. This week we will have to do our workout early, because we are going to Conway for the required volunteer meeting for the Soaring Wings Half Marathon. Kim is running the race (because she is a bad ass) and Cheryl and I are volunteering. I knew I couldn't run a half the week before a marathon (!), but last year I enjoyed this race so much, I wanted to be a part of it somehow. I signed up for food prep or packet pick up. I guess we will find out when we go to the meeting Tuesday night. Next week we will be really be cutting back on mileage, and modifying our speed workout with Dennis. As race day approaches, I'm sure the "freak outs" will increase...there is nothing that I can do about the whether my "special friend" visits me on race day as scheduled, or the weather itself...so there's no point in worrying myself to death over it. I do want to try my best to plan as well as I can and get plenty of rest and eat well.